My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize