Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
