he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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