yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
