Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I die, sorry about rent.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
