So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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