the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
