How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
