Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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