I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
