It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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