I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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