the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
nutella sex= disaster
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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