i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
