He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
