The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
