You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
