There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm sobbing to NWA
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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