his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
