Just cropdusted the office
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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