your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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