Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
