Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
