Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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