so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
