She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
