some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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