I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
