but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
this is an emotional support booty call
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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