You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
