i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
