angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
