You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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