I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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