If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
