New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
