Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
