I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
