cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
