Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize