Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
