Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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