Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
