bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
