i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
