There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She's the barista slut.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
