Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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