Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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