The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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