actually, I'm a sock model
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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