You just made me feel so damn special
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
