no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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