I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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