Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
