Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
