Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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