If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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