Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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