How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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